


home is a groupchat

by hnnng



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Earth Day, Gen, Group chat, Just friends being friends, Nail Polish, Shrek - Freeform, Starbucks, Texting, a tree named georgia, and a tree named kinkshamer69, and nail polish jokes, chatfic, dont expect anything too serious from me, jared is a bad TA, mentions of (deviantart), no tw yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hnnng/pseuds/hnnng
Summary: sephora: god give me strengthJazzIt: big mood-----------Every friend group needs a group chat. Five troubled teens and their shenanigans.





	1. XD

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first fic on a03 and wow  
> enjoy <3
> 
> savethebees - Evan  
> sephora - Connor  
> insanelycool - Jared  
> JazzIt - Zoe  
> Becky - Alana

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has added  **Evan Hansen [savethebees], Connor Murphy [sephora], Zoe Murphy [JazzIt],** and  **Alana Beck [Becky]** to Anime Fans

 

**Connor Murphy [sephora]** has left Anime Fans

 

**insanelycool:** >:(

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has added  **Connor Murphy [sephora]** to Anime Fans

 

**sephora:** i refuse to take part in this until you change the name of the chat

 

**Connor Murphy [sephora]** has left Anime Fans

 

**insanelycool:** wow… i see how it is… smhhh

**insanelycool:** fine

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed the group name to Anime Fans and Connor

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has added  **Connor Murphy [sephora]** to Anime Fans and Connor

 

**sephora:** this isn’t any better

**JazzIt:** I’m just surprised that it’s not “lush fans”

**sephora:** oh yeah i forgot about that lol

**Becky:** You mean when Jared ate a bathbomb??

**JazzIt:** lol yeah

**insanelycool:** im kicking connor for harassment

**sephora:** i didnt do anything?

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has promoted  **Evan Hansen [savethebees]** to admin

 

**savethebees:** omg 

**insanelycool:** shit that was an accident

**sephora:** evan change the name

 

**Evan Hansen [savethebees]** has changed the group name to ur moms a hoe

 

**JazzIt:** yes good

**insanelycool:** had it not been for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you. 

**savethebees:** XD

**insanelycool:** wait… 

**sephora:** what the fuck.

**Becky:** Oh my God.

**savethebees:** whats wrong

**JazzIt:** Evan did you actually use XD

**savethebees:** yes??

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed  **Evan Hansen’s** nickname from  **savethebees** to  **savetheXD**

 

**savetheXD:** i feel attacked

**sephora:** never use XD again please.

**insanelycool:** ^

**Becky:** I just walked into my third hour class like 5 minutes early and I saw Mr. Page punching the ceiling because he couldn’t figure out how to change the lightbulb.

**JazzIt:** what did you do

**Becky:** I’m walking away

**Becky:** I just heard him scream “What the heck”

**savetheXD:** save him,

**Becky:** Wait

**Becky:** Mrs. Hall just walked by and poked her head in.

**Becky:** She said she’s sending her TA to help him

**sephora:** jared aren’t you her TA?

**insanelycool:** wait what the fuck

**savetheXD:** yeah she just walked in to the library where jared and i are

**JazzIt:** how does she even know that you’re there??

**insanelycool:** honestly idk 

**Becky:** She probably has your schedule and knew you had an off

**insanelycool:** yeah but i dont go to the library on my off usually

**sephora:** maybe she has a tracker on you lol

**savetheXD:** can i change my name fdkas

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed  **Evan Hansen’s** nickname from  **savetheXD** to  **fdkas**

 

**fdkas:** you know waht

**fdkas:** this is fine

**JazzIt:** aren’t you gonna go help Mr Page jared

**insanelycool:** no?

**sephora:** leave him to die

**Becky:** Okay I’m in my third hour now and Mr. Page just pointed to some poor kid in the first row and whispered “coffee”

**sephora:** big mood

**fdkas:** who else has off right now besides jared

**JazzIt:** me

**insanelycool:** come to the library lol

**sephora:** do you think they’d catch me ditching in the library

**Becky:** Yes

**sephora:** gdi

**fdkas:** we’re going to starbucks what do you two want

**sephora:** idc but ur a saint

**Becky:** I don’t drink Starbucks but get me a tea

**JazzIt:** Gotcha

**insanelycool:** meet us here at lunch

**sephora:** k loser

**insanelycool:** >:(

**Becky:** Okay

 


	2. war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its april 22nd and that means two different things for evan and jared

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** to ur moms a hoe [4/22]

 

**insanelycool:** guys

**Becky:** What?

**insanelycool:** it’s a national holiday

 

**Evan Hansen [fdkas]** has changed their name to **NATURE**

 

**NATURE:** eARTH DAY!!

**insanelycool:** wrong

**NATURE:** :( no

**insanelycool:** it’s SHREK’S birthdaY!!!

**insanelycool:** we should celebrate

**sephora:** i refuse to celebrate shrek ever

 

**Evan Hansen [NATURE]** has changed the group name to Earth Day!!!!!!!

 

**insanelycool:** oh ye i forgot he could do that

**JazzIt:** Jared no

**insanelycool:** jared yes

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed their name to **SHREK**

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed the group name to Shrek!!!!!!

 

**NATURE:** no!!

**SHREK:** yes!!

**sephora:** stop this

**NATURE:** earth day is important

**SHREK:** and shrek’s birthday isn’t??

**NATURE:** ajkfjdslfkjsd;p

**JazzIt:** oh my god jared

**Becky:** This is kind of amazing

**sephora:** this is kind of stupid

 

**Evan Hansen [NATURE]** has changed the group name to Earth Day!!!!!!!

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed the group name to Shrek!!!!!!

 

**Evan Hansen [NATURE]** has changed the group name to Earth Day!!!!!!!

 

**SHREK:** wait cant i just

 

**Jared Kleinman [SHREK]** has kicked **Evan Hansen [NATURE]** from Earth Day!!!!!!

 

**SHREK:** haha victory

 

**Connor Murphy [sephora]** has added **Evan Hansen [savethebees]** to Earth Day!!!!!!

 

**SHREK:** connor.

**sephora:** im not stanning shrek

**JazzIt:** ^

**Becky:** ^

**savethebees:** :DDDD

**SHREK:** wow i see how it is

**SHREK:** you know i thought you guys were my FRIENDS

**SHREK:** but i cant be friends with shrek haters >:(

 

**Jared Kleinman [SHREK]** has left Earth Day!!!!!!

 

**sephora:** bye

 

**Evan Hansen [savethebees]** has added **Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** to Earth Day!!!!!!

 

**insanelycool:** wow this chat is a strong reminder of the past

**Becky:** This chat is only two days old.

**insanelycool:** man i sure do miss that alana i wonder what shes doing

**Becky:** Jared.

**insanelycool:** whoa

**insanelycool:** WAIT

**insanelycool:** y’all should come over to mine we can like go plant a tree and then watch shrek and have a sleep over

**JazzIt:** “y’all”

**savethebees:** “y’all”

**sephora:** “y’all”

**Becky:** “y’all”

**insanelycool:** yeehaw

**savethebees:** anwyways i support this

**sephora:** okay fine

**Becky:** omw

**JazzIt:** Connor and i will come get you Ev

**savethebees:** okay

* * *

 

**Zoe Murphy [JazzIt]** to Earth Day!!!!!! [4/22]

 

**JazzIt:** Guys where are you

**JazzIt:** Im with Alana and theres girlscouts everywhere

**sephora:** idk i lost evan

**insanelycool:** hes with me were planting a motherfucking tree

**savethebees:** im naming her georgia

**savethebees:** im gonna visit her akways

**sephora:** did evan just adopt a child

**insanelycool:** yeah but i demand visitation rights i helped plant her too

**savethebees:** no shes my daughter

**insanelycool:** im taking this to court

**Becky:** Jared you can name the one Zoe and I are planting.

**insanelycool:** omw

**sephora:** wait i see jared and evan

**savethebees:** jared no i still need help

**sephora:** i gotcha

**insanelycool:** im naming this tree KinkShamer69

**savethebees:** dont do that

**insanelycool:** too late

**sephora:** georgia is a better tree

**savethebees:** ^

**JazzIt:** I would defend our tree but jared named it kinkshamer69

**insanelycool:** wow

**insanelycool:** georgia is still partially mine

**savethebees:** no

**insanelycool:** fine i dont need georgia i have KinkShamer69

**sephora:** can we leave now

**Becky:** Yes.

**insanelycool:** lets go to the store and get snacks for our legendary movie experience

**sephora:** god give me strength

**JazzIt:** big mood

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in a day?? wow  
> I was only gonna do chapters when I had a really good idea and then i got one  
> i once planted trees when i was a girlscout and we named them  
> i think we called two of them george washington and sherry
> 
> my tumblr is @tastyfucker you should check it out


	3. chipmunked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out about connors deviantart and everyone gets matching nicknames

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed the group name to Jared’s siblings SUCK

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** to Jared’s siblings SUCK

 

**insanelycool:** okay so like my parents r out rn and they wanted me to watch my little sister

**insanelycool:** so now im watching alvin and the chipmunks right

**sephora:** yes, and?

**insanelycool:** someone come over so i dont have to suffer alone

**sephora:** ew no

**JazzIt:** ^

**savethebees:** i’ll come

**insanelycool:** omg that reminded me

**insanelycool:** the green chipmunk is evan 

**savethebees:** nvm

**insanelycool:** NO WAIT IM SORRY ILL GIVE U FOOD PLS COME

**Becky:** I’ll come too, I have nothing going on at the moment.

**sephora:** i only want to come to see what youre talking about

**savethebees:** this is slander

**savethebees:** but i’ll come bc you offered food

**insanelycool:** see, just like theodore

**savethebees:** aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Jared Kleinman [insanelycool]** has changed **Evan Hansen’s** nickname from **savethebees** to **theodore**

**Zoe Murphy [JazzIt]** has changed **Jared Kleinman’s** nickname from **insanelycool** to **alvin**

 

**alvin:** well

**theodore:** thanks zoe

**sephora:** when did you even see the movie zoe

**JazzIt:** I was bored once okay?

**alvin:** oh my god why would you willingly watch alvin and the chipmunks

**Becky:** Evan and I are at the door.

**alvin:** k one sec

**sephora:** zoe dont tell me you had a chipmunk oc

**JazzIt:** why do you even know about those

**sephora:** i had a deviantart phase okay

**theodore:** oh m y god

**alvin:** wait i have an idea

 

**Jared Kleinman [alvin]** has changed **Alana Beck’s** nickname from **Becky** to **simon**

**Jared Kleinman [alvin]** has changed **Connor Murphy’s** nickname from **sephora** to **dave**

**Jared Kleinman [alvin]** has changed **Zoe Murphy’s** nickname from **JazzIt** to **ian**

 

**dave:** i have a sudden burning desire to leave

**ian:** AHAHahha

**simon:** This movie is giving me a headache

**theodore:** ^

**alvin:** wait connor

**alvin:** sorry i mean DAVE

**alvin:** what was your deviant art

**dave:** you think i kept it up? lol no i deactivated that bitch

**ian:** I think theres some of his drawings on our desktop computer

**ian:** Good thing i’m using it rn

**dave:** NO

**ian:** [img.jpg]

**ian:** [img.jpg]

**ian:** [img.jpg]

**theodore:** why is that cat red and blue connor

**dave:** oh my god

**alvin:** im saving these oh my god

**simon:** Sorry, Connor, but… What the fuck?

**dave:** zoe i know you wrote fanfiction

**ian:** Okay but

 

**Zoe Murphy** **[ian]** has kicked **Connor Murphy [dave]** from Jared’s siblings SUCK

**Jared Kleinman [alvin]** has added **Connor Murphy [sephora]** to Jared’s siblings SUCK

**Jared Kleinman [alvin]** has changed **Connor Murphy’s** nickname from **sephora** to **dave**

 

**dave:** fuck i thought i was free

**alvin:** :3c

**theodore:** and you made fun of me for using “XD”

**alvin:** whats wrong with :3c

**simon:** Jared.

 

**Evan Hansen [theodore]** has changed **Jared Kleinman’s** nickname from **alvin** to **alvin :3c**

 

**alvin :3c:** thanks! i hate it

**theodore:** youre welcome

**alvin :3c:** am i

**theodore:** no

**alvin :3c:** okay but can we talk about how connor is an alvin and the chipmunks fan

**dave:** was*

**alvin :3c:** is*

**dave:** was*

**alvin :3c:** is*

**alvin :3c:** connor since youre such a **big** fan come over to mine and watch it with alana evan and me

**dave:** no

**ian:** I’ll come

**ian:** Connor you better get your ass in the car

**dave:** fine

**simon:** See you there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent even really watched alvin and the chipmunks before??? i watched like half of the third movie chipwrecked in band once but i dont remember much?? also i had internal debate about having zoe's nickname just be zoe but ian was funnier. this was fun to write
> 
> connors deviantart is half based on my deviantart phase which was cursed. my username literally had "da" as a substitute for "the" in it and it also had "fangirl" in it. i also had a gross fake name and kept changing my location from USA to canada as if no one would notice if i switched nationalities.
> 
> kudo + comment please! it makes my day.  
> thank you to everyone who left a comment on the first two chapters seriously you guys killed me.
> 
> my tumblr is @tastyfucker and i do things there so check it out if you wanna


	4. fanfricktion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zoe gets exposed

**Connor Murphy [dave]** to alvin and the chipmunks

 

**dave:** guys i have something to give you

**dave:** except zoe 

**dave:** meet me by my locker before school

**ian:** Hey what the fuck

**theodore:** k

**alvin :3c:** im here where the fuck are you

**dave:** im omw chill out

**simon:** Which locker is yours again?

**dave:** 419

**theodore:** im here

**simon:** I’m here as well.

**dave:** that was fast as fuck

**dave:** okay im here

**ian:** I refuse to not be included in this

**alvin :3c:** HAAHAHAHAHa “xx_zoethefangirl_xx”

**theodore:** this is…. idk

**simon:** ^

**ian:** Wait what the hell did he give you guys

**theodore:** he printed off a fanfiction that you wrote??

**dave:** lol yeah

 

**Jared Kleinman [alvin :3c]** has changed  **Zoe Murphy’s** nickname from  **ian** to  **xx_zoethefangirl_xx**

 

**dave:** oh shit shes at the end of the hallway

**dave:** im getting the fuck outta here

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Get back here you little bitch

**alvin :3c:** lol im gonna put this in my locker for safekeeping

**simon:** Evan and I are going to walk to the science department together.

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Shit

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Who knows Jared’s locker combo

**simon:** I think Evan does.

**theodore:** askflsdkf

**alvin :3c:** run child

**theodore:** im only speedwalking because i dont wanna get in trouble

**theodore:** oh no i just flat tired someone :(

**theodore:** they were like “its fine” but internally i was like “lol no”

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** I see evan

**theodore:** you know im not even going to try

**theodore:** ill text you jareds locker combo

**alvin :3c:** what the FUCk

**alvin :3c:** you dont have a search warrant you cant open my locker zoe

 

**Jared Kleinman [alvin :3c]** has changed  **Evan Hansen’s** nickname from  **theodore** to  **traitor**

 

**Zoe Murphy [xx_zoethefangirl_xx]** has changed  **Jared Kleinman’s** nickname from  **alvin :3c** to  **hi**

 

**hi:** what the fuk

**hi:** oh shes right there

**hi:** connors here too

**dave:** what the hell

**dave:** oh shit your locker is heresdse

**traitor:** rip

 

**Alana Beck [simon]** has changed their name to  **Becky**

 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** i am victorious 

**dave:** well

 

**Connor Murphy [dave]** has changed their name to  **sephora**

 

**sephora:** god finally

**sephora:** wait holy shit

 

**Connor Murphy [sephora]** has changed  **Evan Hansen’s** nickname from  **traitor** to  **sally hansen**

 

**sephora:** im a genius 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** That was sooo stupid

**sally hansen:** i dont get it :(

**hi:** yeah what the fuck

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** I cant believe you made a nail polish joke

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Youre almost as bad as Evan is with trees

**sally hansen:** tbh i still dont get it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres another chapter!! i dont like it too much but im not gonna complain 
> 
> if you dont know, sally hansen is a company that makes nail polish and other beauty products. it came to me suddenly. 
> 
> also, if youre wondering what zoes fanfic was about just u wait ;)
> 
> like most things, the flat tire thing is based off my own experience. it was awkward af and she grabbed her friends arm and pulled her over to the side of the hallway to fix her shoe. i felt bad
> 
> thanks to everyone who left a kudo or comment! you make my life <3
> 
> my tumblr is @tastyfucker
> 
> until next time


	5. nail polish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> connor is a nail artist and we find out more about zoes fanfic

**Evan Hansen [sally hansen]** to down with alvin and the chipmunks

 

**sally hansen:** connor

**sally hansen:** connor

**sephora:** what

**sally hansen:** why did you a bring a camera to paint my nails

**sephora:** for a youtube video

**sephora:** duh

**sally hansen:** .

**hi:** wait wait WAIT

**hi:** oh my god this fanfiction zoe

**hi:** why twilight

**hi:** im dying as i read this

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** How tf

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** I took your copy???

**hi:** yeah i just took alana’s

**Becky:** I thought I lost that.

**hi:** nahhhhh 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Fuckkkkk

**hi:** so… twilight?

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** I mean

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** The books were good?

**sephora:** i cant believe this

**sally hansen:** i cant believe how many times youve started over on my nails

**sally hansen:** pls free me :(

**sephora:** lol nah

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Sorry, Evan

**sally hansen:** its okay hes painting little trees on my nails

**sephora:** stop texting or ill have to start over again

**hi:** arent you texting too tho?

**sephora:** Nah im using siri and looking at my phone

**sally hansen:** i dont have siri :(

**Becky:** Zoe, did you really like Twilight?

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** I was like 12 leave me alone

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** But speaking of siri

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Remember when dad got alexa

**sephora:** Cursed

**sally hansen:** wait like Amazon Alexa??

**sephora:** Yes

**sephora:** All he would do was talk to that thing

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Alexa was like his bff lol

**sephora:** Yeah

**Becky:** What happened to it?

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Oh lmao

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** We went on vacation and hired a housesitter 

**sephora:** When we came back Alexa was gone and nothing else

**sephora:** I think Larry wanted to put up missing posters 

**Becky:** I kind of feel bad for him.

**hi:** loool

**hi:** so why didnt he just… buy another?

**sephora:** Something about it not being replacable it was whack

**hi:** lol once my mom bought a roomba

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Alexa x siri

**sephora:** Is that your next fanfic

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Fuck off

**hi:** connor typing in caps is unsettling

**sephora:** It’s Siri’s fault

**sephora:** okay im done with evans nails

**sephora:** time to watch nail tutorial videos

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Dw Evan i’ll save you

**sally hansen:** thakns

**Becky:** Wait, send a picture.

**sephora:** [img.jpg]

**Becky:** Oohh. You should paint my nails sometime.

**hi:** ^

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** ^

**sephora:** lol just come over

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Wait connor is that my nail polish

**sephora:** yea

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** >:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always want to paint my nails but i also bite the fuck out of them rip
> 
> i had trouble deciding what zoes fanfic would be about but twilight was too good loollll
> 
> i hope you enjoyed, sorry that its short <3
> 
> my tumblr is @tastyfucker check it out if you want


	6. jazz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang goes to a band concert

**Zoe Murphy [xx_zoethefangirl_xx]** to hoes

 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Is anyone at the school yet

**Becky:** I am!

**Becky:** When does jazz band play?

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** After the freshman band

**sally hansen:** im here with connor and jared 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** The freshman band sucks its gonna be great

**sally hansen:** i feel bad for them :(

**hi:** lol zoe can i wolf whistle after you solo

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Hell no

**sephora:** we are not sitting by jared

**sephora:** alana where are you

**Becky:** Left side of the fourth row.

**hi:** hi guys

**sephora:** go away

**Becky:** Get off your phones, the concert is starting.

 

* * *

 

**hi:** i like this first song

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Did you hear that squeak 

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Oh i gtg and get ready

**sally hansen:** i feel kind of bad for them :(

**hi:** this is hilarious 

**sephora:** one of the percussionists just dropped one of their sticks

**Becky:** Off your phones.

**hi:** :(

 

* * *

 

**sally hansen:** good job zoe!!!

**Becky:** ^

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Jared did you fucking wolf whistle

**hi:** why would  _ i  _ do that zoe

**sephora:** he did that

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** :)

**sally hansen:** once jared and i saw the school musical and he wolf whistled when two of the characters kissed 

**hi:** everyone in the theatre laughed so it was ok

**sally hansen:** i think they were laughing at you

**hi:** shhhhhhhh

**sephora:** fuck they have free cookies out here

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** They’re only free for band members

**sephora:** lol i just said i was in band

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Sigh

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Some dude just leaned over and looked at my phone

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** He asked about my username

**hi:** ahhadhahhd

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** So in response i’m doing this

 

**Zoe Murphy [xx_zoethefangirl_xx]** has changed  **Jared Kleinman’s** nickname from  **hi** to  **coolgamerjared1000**

 

**coolgamerjared1000:** now this is what im talking about 

**sally hansen:** saw that one coming

**coolgamerjared1000:** B)

**coolgamerjared1000:** oh my god thats the jared emoji

**sephora:** “jared emoji”

**xx_zoethefangirl_xx:** Alana brought me flowers :,)

**sally hansen:** ooo let me see

**coolgamerjared1000:** nerd

**sally hansen:** less than five minutes ago you said “jared emoji” so

**coolgamerjared1000:** whats wrong with wanting your own emoji smh

**Becky:** Everything.

**sephora:** ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating sooner lol. finals are crawling up, so. fun.
> 
> anyways i saw our high schools spring musical and when two characters made out some senior boys in the front cheered and it was funny.
> 
> two of the working titles for dear evan hansen were "the lying tree" and "the evan project" and idk about you but those are pretty dope names (tho dear evan hansen is still better)
> 
> cya next time <3


End file.
